


It’s in the Telling

by frostings



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostings/pseuds/frostings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s in the telling, it’s in reading between the lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It’s in the Telling

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone. It took me 2 hours to think of a title *sad trombone noise* Also: It’s not angst. :)

She didn’t know it then, but that was the moment that Sakura chose her fate.

Sasuke—bloodied, bruised, battered, come back from the dead and thought to be irredeemable—against all odds is here. With her. He leans forward and flicked a finger gently against her forehead. Almost smack against her yin sign.

Sakura feels cold, but she chalks it up to exhaustion. Somehow, she manages a smile. She closes her eyes and leans in his proffered embrace.  _Home,_ she thinks.  _He is finally home._

The words echo hollowly in her chest.

 

——————

Getting to know Sasuke is a draining task.

What is there to say other  _hello, what do you think of today’s weather?_ Sasuke’s mood, on the other hand, is an unchanging wall of dark storm clouds, always obscuring what lay underneath. She realizes his words had always been for someone else—Naruto, Itachi, Kakashi. They had never been meant for her.

She sits with him for long hours, sometimes in the pretense of looking after his wounds. Sometimes, he makes tea (badly—she doesn’t remember this about him), and they sit together, until the warmth runs out and leaves her cold.

Sasuke doesn’t try to touch her again.

——————

She escapes to the one person she hopes would understand, and it’s not someone people would think it was.

Kakashi can’t quite hide his surprise when she shows up at his place unannounced. He’s just gotten home himself, she notes, with his dusty shirt and dirty hair. He’s sweaty, and she finds herself biting her lip.

"Sakura," he says. "What are you doing here?"

"Needed to see a friendly face," she says. He lets her in without another question.

"I didn’t know there was a shortage," he comments, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. Kakashi’s old apartment, like many others, was destroyed in the confusion of the war. He’s been living in a makeshift building created by Yamato. It’s small but clean, with only the basic necessities occupying his living space. While her former teacher may give off the appearance of being a slovenly bachelor, Sakura finds that he is quite the opposite.

She sits opposite him. He’s right, of course. She can talk to anyone—Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Sai—their bonds of friendship had been forged in hell. And yet she knows it’s Kakashi who will understand the best.

"Is it Sasuke, then?" Kakashi asks, as if reading her mind.

She tries not to sigh. “No. Yes.”

"Aren’t you happy he’s back?"

"Of course I am!" She hates how defensive she sounds. Of course she’s happy. Happy that this whole, pointless war and strife was over. Happy that Naruto is happy. Happy, as much as she could be, after all the deaths and destruction. It’s a measured sort. She hopes Kakashi understands.

He gives her a look, instead. It’s a little unnerving, especially now that he has two eyes exposed to convey everything that he needs to convey. “No one’s expecting you to live happily ever after with him, Sakura. That’s not how the world works.”

"I know. It’s just…difficult. I thought I would feel, well, feel  _more._  If that makes any sense.” All that time in The Valley of the End, she hated that she had been more of a spectator than anything else. Nothing she said or did had ever reached Sasuke’s heart. It had been Naruto. Always, Naruto, who could. It’s a source of resentment, and she hates herself a little for it. She feels petty and small.

"Hey," he reaches out and pats her shoulder. "Just take your time with it, okay? It hasn’t even been a year."

She shakes her head sadly. “All this time, I’ve just been looking forward that he come back to us, you know? And now that he is, I don’t have anything to say to him. And I thought I did. I had all the words. But now…Kakashi, you know how it is with stars, right? You look up at them and see the light, but it’s really the light of long ago. You’re looking at the past and you think it’s what they’re giving you now, but it’s not.” She knows she might sound crazy, but she doesn’t care.

He nods with a look of understanding (maybe even pity?) He stands up and she allows herself to be folded in his arms. He smells good, if a little bit sweaty. He’s been out working to rebuild Konoha, moving dirt and rock to build homes for its civilians.

"You’re doing alright, kid," he says softly. "Don’t be too hard on yourself."

——————

That night, she dreams of The Valley of the End.  It’s not too different from what happened in reality.

In the dream, Kakashi takes her hand, smiles, and says: “Love is a complicated thing.”

Around them, the world ends.

——————

There had been times during Sasuke’s absence that she would obsess about what it would have been like if he had been there. Not just in missions, but in little things. Whole conversations where she would tease and draw him out from his shell.  _"What do you think of this Sasuke? What’s our mode of attack? Aren’t you sick of ramen at this point? I’m sure I am."_

But the real Sasuke comes and goes, whisked away by Tsunade’s agents to be questioned and interrogated. Naruto goes with him, to argue ferociously over his old friend’s freedom. It doesn’t even bother her anymore that they don’t ask for her opinion on anything.

Not that it matters. Sakura has other things to do, patients to see, injured soldiers to heal. Outside this little trio, she tells herself, she matters.

Kakashi shows up one day and takes her to see the houses he’s built. He points out their features, how the houses are configured together so that the villagers can evacuate faster in the event of an attack.

They don’t talk about Sasuke, or Naruto, or even the Valley of the End. They talk about the small things like work, gossip, old missions. She thanks him for small mercies like that.

"Can you see yourself living in a house like this?" Sakura asks, looking out the window.

He shrugs. “Sure. When I’m married, I guess. This isn’t exactly made for bachelors.”

She feels a little twist in her gut, but pays it no mind. “So you have plans on getting hitched, huh?” she teases, hoping her voice sounds light.

"If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to never discount anything in this world we live in." He leans against the window frame, facing her.

She looks at him. “I can’t imagine you being married to anyone,” she says levelly. And it’s true; she can’t.

Kakashi chuckles derisively. “Well, I need to work on it. We can’t all meet our soulmates at 12 years old.”

It’s supposed to sting, but it does not. Instead, Sakura sighs.

"That makes two of us."

 ——————

Two days later, Sasuke kisses her. When she closes her eyes to receive his kiss, all she can see is him walking away. It’s always only him walking away.

It could have anyone kissing her like this, and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Sasuke stops abruptly, eyes flying open. Pools of black, reflecting nothing. To his credit, he apologizes. “I’m sorry.”

She takes a step back and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “It’s alright,” she says. She waits for the jolt of heartbreak and disappointment—it does not come.

 ——————

"What did you think about me and Sasuke back then?" Sakura asks Kakashi.

He cocks an eyebrow at her. “Are you taking a survey or something?”

She gives him that look, and Kakashi knows her well enough that he’s about to get punched in the gut if he pushes it. “I thought it was a schoolgirl crush, and that it would go away. But after a while, you know, it turned complicated and I always figured you two would just work it out. Somehow.”

She thinks about the long silences between them, his awkward kisses, his embrace. She tries to recall Inner Sakura, the one that swooned over Sasuke and saw only his good side, but she is long gone.

"I really don’t know jack shit about these things, Sakura," Kakashi begins tentatively, "But pushing things isn’t going to help with all of this. It’s not like an invisible hand is forcing you to start the Uchiha Clan all over again."

"I just don’t like wasting anything. Wasted years rank pretty high up in that list," she finally admits. Everything she’s ever done has been with purpose. She did not walk down this road this long to walk into a dead end.

"It doesn’t work that way," Kakashi says gently. He looks away. "Anyway, I think I’ll be gone for a while."

"Gone? Why?"

"Boring old stuff about leadership and harmonization between countries," he shrugs. "Someone out there had the brilliant idea of involving me in all of,  _that,_ " he says in a tone as if he is talking about rice gone bad.

Something clicks in her head. “Are you going to become Hokage?”

"God, no. I mean, at least I hope not."

"I think you’d make a great one." And she means it.

Kakashi seems oddly touched by this and touches her cheek lightly. “Thanks, kiddo.”

Sakura rolls her eyes. “Stop that. I’m not a kid anymore.”

"I keep forgetting," he grins from underneath his mask, but he moves his hand away quickly. "Write to me, Sakura? It’s going to be a while."

"Of course," she is surprised that he even has to ask.

Kakashi nods, as if satisfied. He turns away. Sakura feels like there’s something she should say, something at the tip of her tongue. But she has no idea what it is.

 ——————

_Dear Sakura,_

_I should have given you more credit for being Tsunade-sama’s student. She is, mildly speaking, a difficult taskmaster. She wants me to say my please and my thank you’s and do all this diplomatic bullshit, and  honestly it’s like asking a dog to meow. If they’d wanted me to becoming Hokage, I wish they thought to tell me so a million years ago. It’s not like I’m Naruto. I never really wanted this, as you very well know. But I guess they don’t have anyone else better in mind, since so many better men than me died._

_(I also know that her agents are reading this, so: Hi, agents. Please ask Hokage-sama to reconsider her choice.)_

_I hope you are doing well._

_\- Kakashi_

 ——————

_Dear Kakashi,_

_Frankly speaking, you didn’t give me much credit during the time you were a teacher, so I’m not surprised. Just kidding. Maybe a little._

_Rehabilitation is still ongoing but things are looking a lot better than when you left. I’m happily giving the go-signal to discharge many of my patients, and we’re slowly folding up our makeshift hospital, one tent at a time. My personal goal is to have Tsunade-sama return to a fully-functioning hospital._

_Don’t sell yourself too short on this Hokage business. Even with our losses, you were still a general in the war, and that counts for something. I’ve been talking to a lot of patients and they all mention how they looked up to you, and how you all helped them become better soldiers during your time of duty. You’re a hero._

“ _……._ ”

Sakura pauses, and considers writing:  _You’re my hero,_ but decides that it’s overly sentimental, and has no place in a letter to Kakashi, a former teacher. She chews on her pen, deep in thought. Should she write to him about Sasuke? But then again, what is there to write about? The last Uchiha had consistently avoided her since that awkward kiss, and had not drummed up the courage to approach her again. Kind of funny, when she thinks about it.

She thinks about Kakashi, imagines the faux pas, the innate rudeness that comes so easily with him. She wonders if Tsunade’s managed to knock off the Icha Icha book-reading in front of other people. But then again, does he really still need to hide behind that? Obito’s involvement in the Valley of the End had all but stripped Kakashi raw and emotionally naked in front of everyone to see. He has nothing to hide anymore, and there is bound to be some changes in how he is.  She wonders if Icha Icha is going to be one of those things.

_Naruto and Sai and everyone are all  still recuperating because they’re sissies that way, but otherwise, I don’t have anything to report._ Stupid, why does she have to sound like she’s still a soldier reporting to her General?

He’ll want to hear about Sasuke, she thinks. After all, Kakashi cares about him too.

_As for Sasuke…_ she writes slowly, deliberately.  _I’m trying to get to know him. I’m trying._

She doesn’t know who she’s trying to convince.

——————

Kakashi leans against his bed and lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

Today had been draining, to say the least. He had to meet at least a hundred people today, and he could barely remember half of their names. On the positive side, he’s gotten less glares from the actual Hokage, and he’s willing to take his victories where he could find them.

He puts one hand on his heart, or rather, more specifically, in his pocket, where Sakura’s latest letter is. It feels warm, but he’s most likely imagining things.

He’s starting to look forward to her letters. He’s always admired Sakura’s intelligence (even though she would repeatedly say he didn’t), but he hasn’t expected how thoughtful and clever she was, how observant and funny, making him laugh through her words. He’s starting to reread her letters a little more often than his Icha Icha. It’s a little worrying. For a number of things. Things he’d rather not think about.

So he writes about his day, his latest bout of diplomatic idiocy, a complaint about Tsunade’s bad choices in general. He hopes he brings about some sort of hilarity in Sakura’s days, filled as they are with the serious work of overlooking Konoha’s finest back to health. Then there’s Sasuke too, and god knows how funny that one could be. Kakashi smiles at the thought—he’ll keep the letters light,he’ll talk about the things that don’t matter. This distance is safe enough for him, this task at hand couldn’t have come at a better time.

But he can’t help himself when he ends the letter:  _Write back to me soon._

——————

She dreams about the Valley of the End.

It’s something that happens every often, her visits in that tortured landscape. Naruto and Sasuke are fighting, and she is shouting, but her voice gets lost in the void. Kakashi pulls her back and she can hear him, she can hear herself. It’s grounding, and she stops shaking.

“It’s alright, Sakura.” Strong arms wrap themselves around her, a comforting presence. “It’s going to be alright.”

She wakes up with a strange fluttering feeling in her heart.  _It will pass,_ she tells herself.  _It will pass._

 ——————

Sasuke finally drums up the courage to see her again, and she makes an effort. She truly makes an effort this time—she takes him to all the places that have some sort of meaning to them. They stand there and look at the training grounds, the Gates of Konoha, and she wills herself to remember,  _see Sasuke, this is how I fell in love with you._ She wants to map it out, to retrace their steps, for her to remember why it had all been so urgent.

_This is fine,_ she thinks to herself as Sasuke gives her an indulgent fine.  _This is fine. We’ll be fine. We’ve been through a lot, Sasuke and me. We’ll get through this, together._

They sit under a tree at their old training grounds when Sasuke finally speaks. “You spent all those years running after me, didn’t you Sakura?”

“Yes.”

He turns to look at her. “Why?”

The answer comes easily. “Because I love you. Because Naruto loves you.”

“Aaa.” Sasuke says softly. He puts one hand over hers. “But why does it feel like you’re still running?”

——————

Later, she tries to put pen to paper, try to put in words what had just happened.

Instead she takes out all of Kakashi’s letters, read and re-read until the ink began to blur, until the paper crinkled and became soft to the touch. She looks for clues, a map, a sign, to find out how it all began.

She tries to write,  _Don’t you want to live in that little house too? Aren’t you tired of being alone? I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired. Aren’t you? I told myself I wasn’t alone for so long I actually believed it. But I was, I was for the longest time._

She tries, but the words are garbled, clumsy. He wouldn’t understand.

But even then, she knows that isn’t true. He’ll always understand.

——————

Sakura shows up at his doorstep unannounced.

“I needed to see a friendly face,” she says in a small voice.

“And in all of Konoha, there wasn’t one to be had?” he smiles, leaning against the door. There’s a backpack lying near his bed, and her letters are in his pocket. He’s hoping she isn’t hearing the hammering in his chest.  _She couldn’t possibly want me, I’m too old and I’m too tired and I’m not Sasuke._

She spots the packed bag. “Going anywhere?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Home. I needed to see a friendly face.”

“Oh?”

“I haven’t heard from someone for a while, so I needed to check up on that too.”

“She’s been trying, believe me,” she laughs. She holds up her hands, ink-stained. “I can’t believe it took this long, Kakashi, I…” she’s laughing harder now. “I’m so stupid! I… How long did you know?”

He has to be honest. “For a while. I thought you didn’t…”

Sakura doesn’t let him finish, and she’s crying too, crying and laughing and she doesn’t know how to stop until Kakashi leans in and captures her lips. “It’s been you all this time. It’s been you for a while.”

When she kisses him again, he closes his eyes, and he sees that little house, open doors and open windows.  And he’s home. He’s home.


End file.
